Is it just a co-incidence? 28th of September was the birthday of a person whom I married and had a turbulent relationship with, at times feeling confused on what to do. The next day, the 29th of September is the birthday of Virag Dhulia, a guy whom I got recently acquainted with, who would get me out of the mess with my marital life and bring peace back into my life.
It is just by chance that when I was desperately looking for some information or rather help from internet on the ways to handle or face a marital discord, that I stumbled into the blog of legal fighter a.k.a Virag Dhulia's blog.(http://legalfighter.wordpress.com/2014/05/01/me-and-mens-rights/) After reading out the blog, a strong desire arouse in me to get in touch with this person. However, there was no contact info in the blog. After googling around a bit, I found out that Virag and his team are hosting a conference on men's rights. Men's rights? What's this? It did not click to me at all on what this conference would be all about. Media is flooded about women empowerment and women's rights - so much that ordinary people like me are completely unaware or rather refused to see the reality.
Anyways, I thought of attending this conference as it would give me a perception about the topic they would be talking on along with meeting this guy - Virag Dhulia.
On the first day of the conference, I entered the hall, where I could see some 15-20 people arranging things. As my eyes scanned through them wondering which one of them could be Virag, an elderly lady came to me and asked "so, how long was your marriage?". I was taken aback by this question at first, but replied that it was about a year and a half. When I enquired about her, she told "I'm Neena Dhulia, Virag's mother".
The conference then detailed on the history of the Men's rights movement, the challenges being faced now, identifying who the trouble makers are, and why we need to fight them out. I slowly realized that the root of the problems I faced in my marital life which I used to blame my MIL for, was not either my wife or my MIL, but the system and the attitude of the society itself. Anyways, the conference went on for two days, but I could not get acquainted with him in the conference.
The acquaintance started when I joined Confidare (http://www.confidareindia.com/) as a member. I started attending their weekend sessions where victimized men often came for help, often stories which were much worse than mine. Virag would patiently listen to their stories, sometimes for hours at a time and offer consolation, counselling, strategies to protect himself from his in-laws, wife, the legal establishment, and in some cases parents as well !
It took some time for me to know Virag well.
* His was the first instance where I heard that he had booked his in-laws under dowry prohibition.
* He is the author of two books on men's rights. (The secrets on manhood - parts 1 & 2)
* Virag was invited by the Rajya Sabha to express his views on "sexual harassment at workplace"
* Virag is also part of the team which has been asked by Law commission of Karnataka to submit a research report on dowry law misuse.
* Virag was also instrumental to put forth a proposal to Rajya Sabha - a bill to safeguard men, titled 'Saving Men from Intimate Terror Act" or SMITA in short.
Our country has a long history of celebrating not victors nor losers, but the ones who are fighters, who had the courage to take on the establishment to protect dharma a.k.a justice and equality.
As far as the people whom I have met in the recent times, there are only a handful of them, whom I have admired at and Virag is definitely one among them. Today, being his birthday, I pray that the lord bless him with strength, confidence, courage of conviction in his fight for justice and equality. A very happy birthday to you, Virag.